“After the game, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.” – Italian proverb.
I am particularly fond of this proverb for the imagery it provokes, as well as its open-endedness.
The thought of two chess pieces hopping over to their container before neatly arranging themselves in order is both satisfying and humorous. The kind of thing that allows the imagination to run free, like a child being presented with a blank piece of paper and an assortment of crayons.
Scratch beneath the surface and the proverb deals with equality.
Forget about someone’s size, age, gender or race – when it comes down to it, we are all one and the same as human beings.
Why does this matter? It allows us to feel as though our lives have a meaning, a purpose.
Apply for your dream job, enter a marathon, try out a new sport. You’ve got just as much of a chance of succeeding as anyone else in the world does.
Just because you may not have as much experience as someone else does in a certain field, that’s not to say you can’t yield positive results.
Conversely, this proverb also warns us of the dangers that pride can bring.
The importance of being humble can never be underestimated.
Don’t look down on the poorer man – recognize that he too has his own redeeming qualities, along with his shortcomings.
Going back to the literal meaning, the pawn can be just as powerful as the king as far as the chessboard is concerned.
It is too easy to dismiss somebody who appears small and weak: there is more than meets the eye.
More often than not we judge a book by its stone cold cover. This can lead to underestimation and missed opportunities.
Give people second chances in life – someone who leaves a bad first impression could well prove to be your best friend in due course.
When all is said and done, everyone goes back into the box together.
All Smiles: Dave Waters (right) shares a joke with teammate Kieron Tarbie Photo: Dave Anderson
Talk to most footballers and they’ll tell you that moving from one club to another is not an easy procedure.
You have to make new friends, adapt to a different tactical system and do all you can to get the fans on your side. These things don’t usually happen overnight.
But if the case of Dave Waters is anything to go by, it sometimes takes just over a week for everything to click.
Waters, 34, joined Fisher from Croydon 10 days ago, but his performances so far suggest that he has been playing for the Bermondsey side for a few years.
The centre-half has notched three goals in as many games for the Fish – his opener in Tuesday’s 2-1 win at Rochester United was followed up by a quick-fire first-half brace against Lordswood on Saturday, helping his side to an eventual 3-0 victory.
Waters has also looked a calm, authoritative presence in defence. He puts his head where most wouldn’t dare to put a boot and knows how to organise a back four. His defensive contributions have already yielded palpable results – Saturday’s shutout against Lordswood was Fisher’s first clean sheet since the end of January.
In the thick of it: Waters (centre) celebrates a goal with Luke Haidarovic (centre) Photo: Dave Anderson
Waters was suitably pleased with his team’s display against the Lords and was more than happy to get on the score sheet twice.
“It was a big 3 points – we needed that.” He said. “Hopefully we’ll be fine in terms of staying up now. We just need to stick to the basics at the back and if we do that I’m sure we can pick up some more clean sheets before the end of the season.
“I’m enjoying scoring goals at the moment – a lot of the players here take set-pieces really well, so as long as they keep on putting the right balls into the box and I continue to get on the end of them, we’ll score more from corners and free kicks.
“A few years ago I scored around 12 goals in one season which is good for a centre-half, so I hope to keep up this goalscoring form.”
Waters is originally from Sydenham and currently lives in Farnborough. He has played for a handful of clubs in and around the London area, such as Beckenham Town, Greenwich Borough and Corinthian Casuals.
His decision to move from Croydon to Fisher was partly based on a conversation with the Fish boss Dean Harrison, who he knew before signing for the club.
“I know Dean and he asked me to come down to Fisher and help the side to stay up.” He said. “My friend Terry also works with the sponsors of the Fisher kit so that was another link I had with the club.
“Being from Sydenham, I’ve played football in Dulwich quite a bit before as it isn’t too far away. I used to play on the 7-a-side pitches just down the road from Champion Hill.
“Despite Dulwich Hamlet also using this pitch, it is in good condition – you can tell the groundsman looks after it very well.”
Waters faces a trip to one of his former clubs when Fisher take on Beckenham Town in a local derby later today, and the defender is targeting another clean sheet.
A win for Fisher, as well as a loss for bottom side Erith Town against Tunbridge Wells, would be enough to stave off any lingering fears of relegation for the Rotherhithe side.
This sequence of results would see Fisher pull 13 points clear of Erith Town, who only have 12 more points to play for after today.
Close To Safety: Fisher manager Dean Harrison has helped to guide the Bermondsey club out of the relegation zone Photo: Dave Anderson
And Waters says a solid defensive showing will be key in ensuring a positive result is achieved against rivals Beckenham.
“We need to build on our defensive performance against Lordswood and keep another clean sheet at Beckenham” He said. “I know how they play – they attack very quickly on the break, so that’s something we have to be wary of.
“If we don’t try any silly stunts in our own half – like we did against Deal and at times in the Rochester game – then we can get a clean sheet and hopefully grab a win as well.
“It will be a very tough game though, it’s a derby and Beckham always attract a large support. A fair few Fisher fans will head down there as well – the atmosphere is going to be great.”
The home crowd at Eden Park Avenue inspired Beckenham to a stirring 5-4 victory over 10-man Cray Valley last Tuesday.
Winger Travis Gregory plundered 4 goals for the Becks, taking his tally to 6 strikes in his last 2 games.
Fisher know what Gregory is capable of, as the attacker scored a thumping 30-yard effort at Champion Hill when the two sides met in the reverse fixture in August last year.
That match ended 3-3, with Beckenham coming from behind three times to salvage a point.
The Fish will be looking to go one better than that result this time, and gain a three point haul.
A win in the back yard of your biggest rivals – can you think of a more glorious way in which to confirm SCEFL survival? Nope, didn’t think so.
Kick off: 3pm
Address: 374, Eden Park Avenue, Beckenham, BR3 3JL
Directions: the nearest railway station to Beckenham’s ground is Eden Park – trains run there directly from Victoria, Lewisham and Catford. There is no direct service from South Bermondsey.
JUST IN TIME: Fisher FC players celebrate Luke Haidarovic’s 90th minute clincher v Erith Town
Venue: Champion Hill Stadium, Edgar Kail Way, Dog Kennel Hill, London, SE22 8BD. K.O: 3pm. Competition: Southern Counties East Football League. AdmissionPrices: £5 adults, £2 conc, free accompanied U16s.
All good things come in threes. That’s a scientifically proven fact – don’t even try and argue against it. So wouldn’t it be just lovely if Fisher rounded off their triple header of home games with a third positive result in the space of a fortnight?
It would be no mean feat, that’s for sure. Because standing in their way of five (or seven) points out of nine are the real Deal. A side who have scored a whopping 23 goals in their last six games. Three of those strikes, incidentally, came against Fisher in the reverse fixture on March 3. The Fish fought valiantly that night in Kent, but were ultimately undone by ruthless finishing and the absence of several first-teamers who couldn’t make the Tuesday night trip due to work commitments.
That’s not to say that Saturday’s match is a home banker. Deal’s mega goal haul has been amassed with impressive victories over the likes of Canterbury (4-1), Holmesdale (6-0) and Lingfield (5-1). Even more astonishing is the fact that the Kent outfit have played all five of their league games since facing Fisher in the space of a fortnight. They’ve only lost one of those matches – a 3-2 reverse at Erith Town coming on Tuesday March 10 – and have won the other four.
THE REAL DEAL: Kent side Deal Town are in red-hot form
In other words: Fisher simply cannot afford to let in an early goal. It’s become a very bad habit of late – a bit like toenail-biting. What has made it even worse? The goals they have conceded have been god-awful – absolute stinkers from set-pieces. If there’s any solace to be taken, the Fish are yet to allow anyone but themselves to score a goal from open play at Champion Hill since February.
Aside from the odd defensive lapse, the recent signs have been promising from Fisher. Midfielders Alfie Roche and Max Rothwell look a threat going forward, while Charlie Payne has been in superb form between the sticks. The main complaint from Monday’s last-gasp win over Erith Town was the quality of the passing. It was wayward stuff at times, but if the home side can sort that out and keep it tight at the back from the off, then this could prove to be a very even match-up.
VITAL: Haidarovic notches in the final minute v Erith Town
Key man: Luke Haidarovic. The striker has made quite a splash since arriving from over the pond last month. Blessed with an eye for goal and the kind of gritty determination that any marksman wanting to succeed at this level must have. The burly forward seems to be finding his feet in the SCEFL, after netting in each of his last two games. His most recent effort was as brilliant as it was crucial. Bravely lunging in between two defenders in the penalty area, the big man swept home Kieron Tarbie’s 90th minute cross in a flash. Having played at semi-pro level in Wales, Canada and the USA, it is safe to say he is not fazed by much on the pitch nor off it.
Form
Fisher
Last 5: W (4-1 v Crowborough Athletic), L (3-0 v Deal Town), D (2-2 v Phoenix Sports), D (1-1 v Canterbury City), W (2-1 v Erith Town)
Position in league table: 19th
Deal Town
Last 5: W (3-1 v Crowborough Athletic), L (3-2 v Erith Town), W (5-1 v Lingfield ), W (4-1 v Canterbury City), W (6-0 v Holmesdale)
Position in league table: 14th
Fighting talk: local boxing champion Johnny Garton will be attending tomorrow’s game. Find out more here
NEW MAN: Luke Haidarovic (centre) in action for Fisher FC. Photos: Dave Anderson
FISHER FC striker Luke Haidarovic was happy to get off the mark for his new club on Saturday – and insists his team are headed in the right direction.
The attacker, who joined the South Londoners last month following a spell in Wales, scored his first Fisher goal from the penalty spot in the 1-1 draw with Canterbury City.
“Getting off the mark for the club was a really good feeling.” He said. “It was just disappointing not to get the three points. We absolutely dominated the second half and the slow start was what cost us.
“In terms of the league, we can now kick on and show ourselves to be a very competitive side.
“Our quality was evident in last week’s game against Phoenix as well as today. The more we play together, the better we’ll be in the future so things are looking up. We just need to keep going and continue to show our resilience.
“It was a good overall team performance, and you can see that we’re going in the right direction.”
HIGH FLIER: Haidarovic challenges a Canterbury City defender in the air. Photos: Dave Anderson
10 minutes after drawing his side level from 12 yards, the forward crashed into the railings at the side of the Champion Hill pitch when trying to receive a pass.
The 26-year-old injured both of his knees as a result of the collision, but thinks he will recover in time for the upcoming match against Erith Town on Monday.
“The knees should hopefully be alright for next week.” He said. “I might have to get them sewed up and miss training, but I’m optimistic about making the Erith Town game.”
“I fell very quickly and everyone thought I’d smashed my face but luckily only the knees took a hit. It’s not as bad as we first thought.”
Despite the injury, the striker soldiered on until he was substituted off in the 74th minute – after which Fisher came desperately close to claiming all three points. The linesman’s flag ruled out a Jake McIntyre effort in the 88th minute – and Haidarovic thought his teammate was level with play when he fired past Shannon Harris in the Canterbury goal.
“We all thought we’d won it late on, as Jake looked level – so we’re a bit aggrieved by that.
“All in all it was a good performance from the boys though – that’s something we can build on.
“Canterbury will be happier than us to come away with the point today. That was the only downer on the game. Overall there were more positives to take than negatives.
“We’ve got some must-win games coming up at home. They’ll be difficult, but as long as we keep up our intensity levels, we should be fine in terms of getting the wins to stay in the division.”
The SCEFL is just one of many leagues that Haidarovic has played in. His path has not been the most conventional: born in Wolverhampton, he studied and played football in the United States for six years – as well as enjoying spells in both Canada and Wales.
“I went to college in Dallas in America.” He said. “I played in different parts of the country and cwas out there for around six years.
“I also spent some time in Canada, and before I came to Fisher I was at a club in Wales.
“Then I came back to England and one of my workmates put me in touch with Dean (Harrison). He got me down here to have a trial and the rest is history. All of the lads at Fisher are great and Dean as a manager is brilliant to work with. So far so good, and long may it continue.”
WELL-TRAVELLED: Haidarovic has played football at semi-professional level in England, Wales, Canada and the USA. Photos: Dave Anderson
The bitter chill of Bermondsey may be a far cry from Dallas’ extreme heat – but Haidarovic insists he missed the British weather while stateside.
“Yeah, it’s not as dreary in the USA as it is out there, that’s for sure.
“To be fair though, the heat was sometimes too much during preseason in the USA. It was over 100 degrees in the summer, it was quite brutal. In a way it’s quite nice to come back to the cold of this country.
“Everything in America was totally different – especially the college side of it. Their style of football is completely different, so at first it was just about adapting to their way of playing.
“You can see that the sport is getting bigger and bigger in the country and it’s really good. I loved my time out there, it was absolutely fantastic.”
The 26-year-old is also relishing living in London for the first time, and says Fisher was the right choice.
“I’m loving London so far, it’s a great city.” He said. “I’m pleased to have joined a club with such a great history and can’t complain about anything.
“I’m originally from Wolverhampton – but my Black Country accent isn’t as thick as it used to be after spending so long in America.”
So Barcelona’s fans are angry with Real Madrid. That’s hardly a shock.
At the centre of their ire is Los Blancos new signing Martin Odegaard. Considering that Barcelona are unable to sign anyone until 2016, this shouldn’t come as a surprise either. It’s just jealousy. Child talk. A ‘dog bites man kind’ of story. Nothing to see here, move on.
Except for one reason I found this vitriol, this utter contempt, more amusing than usual.
To explain in full:
15th January 2015
Fernando Torres scores two decisive goals to knock city rivals Real Madrid out of the Copa Del Rey at the last 16 stage.
21st January 2015
10:49 PM – Barcelona v Atletico Madrid. Copa Del Rey quarter final. Atletico defender Juanfran’s challenge on Sergio Busquets allows Lionel Messi a chance to give the home side the lead. Messi sees his penalty repelled by goalkeeper Jan Oblak, but rams home the rebound.
10:54 PM – FULL TIME Barcelona 1 Atletico Madrid 0
11:11 PM – Real Madrid FC’s official website and Twitter account announce the signing of 16-year-old Norwegian wonderkid Martin Odegaard.
“That’s not fair!” shouted the supporters of the Catalan side.
How could the establishment that they hate the most opt to inform the world of their newest ‘Galactico‘ at this moment in time? Just after the end of a game in which their two biggest rivals were doing battle, a game in which they might have been taking part had the stars aligned differently just a week ago?
Well, that’s good marketing for you. Real grab the headlines, and make Barca want to grab them by the throat and fling them around the room. Pretty funny stuff.
As if the capital club were going to release this information at any othertime. And as if Barcelona fans needed another excuse to implode, after the recent not-so-behind-the-scenes shambles involving Messi, Luis Enrique, and the club’s board of directors.
Whoever it was that pressed ‘send tweet’ at 11:11 PM must have cracked the wryest of smiles immediately afterwards.
This is exactly the kind of quirk that makes the Barcelona-Real Madrid relationship so entertaining, so utterly chucklesome.
Imagine if their duopoly existed in a magical fantasy world. One in which hate wasn’t a thing. One in which all was amicable and well-manned. It would be absolutely rubbish.
Another announcement, made later in the day on Thursday, was that Odegaard would go straight into Real Madrid’s B team squad.
There, he will likely play in midfield alongside Enzo Alan Zidane Fernandez. Son of the great Zinedine.
The two young pups will get to learn from the best in the business when they train with the big boys of Real Madrid A.
But more importantly, their hatred for Barcelona will be allowed to foster and flourish.
“He’s just too good for you” rang out from the Holmesdale stand last night – a familiar sound. Wilfried Zaha showed flashes of the form which earned him a lucrative £10m move to Manchester United in January 2013. But if chants praising Palace’s prodigal son evoked great memories, then the final result served as a sobering reminder of tough battles that lie ahead.
In fact, the manner in which the Mackems snatched victory at SE25 was all too familiar for the opposition on the night. With an astute defensive display and devastating efficiency on the break, the away side appeared to have taken a leaf out of Palace’s book.
Poor defending, in particular for Fletcher’s opener, didn’t exactly help. But the real regret will be a failure to capitalize on numerous set pieces. Although Zaha’s trickery permitted the winger to manoeuvre himself into plenty of promising positions, a final product was missing. So the best route to goal was seemingly via the corner flag.
That said, delivery from set plays proved as poor as the full-time score would disappointing. Bolaise hammered ball after ball at the first man. The players waiting in the penalty area had nothing to feed off. Ffrustration began to grow around Selhurst Park. Even substitute and regular corner taker Puncheon was unable to provide his teammates with adequate service. Back to the drawing board before Saturday’s match at Old Trafford, it seems.
And Mile Jedinak’s dismissal? It was just. The Aussie must show more discipline – both yellow cards were unnecessary. As Warnock’s rant and subsequent fine following the Chelsea match showed, releasing pent-up anger can be costly in the Premier League.
I can empathise with the Sheffield-born manager. His ire is easy to comprehend, but just as easy for the FA to punish. Currently, all top-flight bosses find themselves as delicately poised as Nik Wallenda crossing the Chicago skyline.
To say the same of Palace’s league position would smack of exaggeration: it’s only November. Increasing negativity could easily be offset come Saturday evening. For one, Manchester United will be forced to play a makeshift defence this weekend. Another thing: look at what has happened to Swansea recently. A poor run – 2 points collected from 4 games – wrought by refereeing troubles left a bad taste in the mouth. Then, they picked themselves up to gain an impressive victory over Leicester, and earn a creditable draw at Goodison Park.
I’m not suggesting that a haul of 4 points from 2 games against Manchester United and Liverpool is probable – but it is possible.
‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ – a question that we are all asked at some point during our younger years.
Here are 5 players who almost went on to have other jobs:
1. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain – Professional Rugby & Cricket Player
The Arsenal and England midfielder was an all-round sportsman during his school days. He was on a sports scholarship at St John’s College in Portsmouth – an independent school which encouraged rugby and cricket but didn’t offer football.
Oxlade-Chamberlain joined the Southampton football Academy at the age of seven. Before signing a professional deal with the club, he was scouted by London Irish. ‘The Ox’ used to line up at scrum-half or full-back and admits he enjoyed the sport until everyone got older and games became more physical.
One particular scout enquired if Oxlade-Chamberlain would be interested in a trial with London Irish. Southampton denied him this opportunity, as they were adamant that he would make it as a footballer.
A similar situation arose when the winger was offered cricket trials with Hampshire. A competent all-round player, he was the opening batsman for South East Hampshire. Alas, he would make his name in the footballing world instead – completing a £12million move from Southampton to Arsenal in August 2011.
2. Sergio Ramos – Bullfighter
Ramos’ family have always been extremely fond of bullfighting. It is a popular sport in his hometown of Camas in Seville, and as in the above picture, the defender has celebrated important victories for both club and country by playing with a matador’s cape.
The hot-headed defender believes that he has some matador qualities. He claims he considered a career in the sport, but said that he feels happiest when playing football.
In 2009, Ramos’ enthusiasm for bullfighting landed him in hot water. The Spain international was suspended for his team’s match against Valladolid in the Bernabeu, and watched on from the stands during the first half. In the second period, he was nowhere to be seen. The following Monday, pictures of his whereabouts emerged: he had been watching his matador friend Alejandro Talavante perform in the famous Las Ventas Bullring in Madrid. The defender later apologized for his actions.
The 28-year-old hopes to participate in bullfights in Madrid and Seville once he has hung up his boots. He appears to have a particular affiliation with the colour red. Ramos has received 19 red cards during his Real Madrid career – meaning he has been sent off more times that any player in the club’s history.
3. Didier Drogba – Accountant
When Drogba was 21, he believed he did not have what it takes to succeed as a professional footballer. At the time, in 1998, PSG were chasing his signature. He declined the offer, and instead went to Le Mans in Ligue 2.
There was an ulterior motive behind the Ivorian’s decision – he wanted to study accountancy at the university in the city.
Little did young Drogba know that he would enjoy his breakthrough season in his first year at the club. He quit university and signed his first professional contract with Le Mans in 1999.
The striker has never looked back since. Despite initially failing to convince at Chelsea, he went on to score 100 goals in 226 appearances during his first stint in West London. Not to mention 4 FA Cup winners medals, 3 Premier League trophies, 2 League Cup successes, and of course, European club football’s Holy Grail – The UEFA Champions League.
4. Miroslav Klose – Carpenter and Bricklayer
Klose was born in Opole, Poland in 1978. As an 8-year-old, he moved to Kusel, a town in Eastern Germany, with his father – and at this point Miroslav knew only 2 words of German.
He soon integrated into the local community, playing football for local team SG Blaubach-Diedelkopf, who were in the German seventh division.
At the same time, he trained to become a carpenter as well as working as a bricklayer.
The late bloomer eventually carved out a career in football, as he joined the reserve team of former 4th division club club FC Homburg when he was 20. A year later he earned a move to Budesliga outfit FC Kaiserslautern. In his second season he was the league’s second-highest goalscorer – notching 16 times.
Incidentally, this is the same number of goals that Klose has scored at World Cup finals – an all-time record. The striker scored all of these goals from a distance of 12 yards or closer – a true poacher. He also demonstrated that he still knows how to pull off brilliant backflips at this summer’s torunament in Brazil.
5. Daniel Sturridge – WWE wrestler
Until the age of 12, the Liverpool hitman envisaged himself in the WWE ring instead of lighting up the Premier League.
‘I wanted to be a wrestler. It seemed so real. I used to have all the figures and a little ring and every bit of pocket money I had I used to buy new ones. I still have them now.’ Sturridge said
The England international realised that he wasn’t going to make the grade as a wrestler when he joined secondary school. Admitting that he did not have the skills required to compete with the likes of Big Show and Stone Cold Steve Austin, he opted to concentrate on football instead.
As it turns out, football is something Sturridge is pretty good at. After four fairly dismal years at Chelsea, where he was often played out of position, Sturridge has netted an impressive 36 goals in 52 appearances since joining Liverpool. He’s not a bad dancer either, mind.
Ludogorets centre-back Cosmin Moti was forced to pull on a pair of goalkeeper gloves and shove himself between the sticks, after his team’s number one, Vladislav Stoyanov, was given his marching orders in extra time of their Champions League Qualifier against Steaua Bucharest
Moti could be forgiven for quaking in his boots after the match went to a penalty shootout. Instead, he rose to the challenge. After slamming home the first spot kick for his team, the centre-back outdid himself by saving two of Steaua Bucharest’s penalties. The second save was a decisive sudden death stop which won the tie for Ludogorets. Cue wild celebrations.
The victory must have been even sweeter for Moti considering that the Romanian used to play for Steaua’s cross-city rivals, Dinamo Bucharest. Ludogorets of Bulgaria qualified for the Champions League proper for the first time in their short 13-year history. Glamour ties against both Liverpool and Real Madrid await them in the group stages of the competition.
For those of you who missed Moti’s dramatic penalty save and subsequent outburst of joy, let’s have another look.
Unbelievable stuff.
On the subject of outfield players strutting their stuff in goal, here are 5 more noteworthy examples.
1. Mladen Petric
Croatia striker Petric was forced to don the baggy shirt and gloves after Basel’s custodian Franco Costanzo saw red for a blatant foul on Nancy’s Issiar Dia in the dying moments of a UEFA Cup group stage encounter. The Swiss side has no subs left.
Perhaps Costanzo’s lengthy pep talk influenced Petric’s inspired decision to dive to his left and deny Michael Chretien from twelve yards.
Kudos to the former West Ham striker for his actions following his impressive save. Rather than get sucked in by the euphoria of the moment, Petric pumped the ball straight back up the other end in search of a last-minute winner for his team. Model professionalism.
It was not to be, as the final score was 2-2. Still, a point, as well as legendary status among the home fans, was gained for the Croatia international that day.
2. Dean Windass
Frustrated with a lack of opportunities at his hometown club Hull City in the Premier League, much-travelled striker Windass agreed to join League One Oldham Athletic on loan for the remainder of the season in January 2009.
A unique opportunity arose during Windass’ sixth game at Oldham. 50 minutes into the match against league leaders Leicester City, Hull stopper Greg Fleming was sent off, and Hull had no reserve goalkeeper on the bench to guard net for the resulting penalty.
Enter Windass, whose mind games clearly affected English football’s top goalscorer at the time, Matty Fryatt. Big Dean told Fryatt that he was going to miss, and the striker duly screwed his penalty wide.
The burly beast of a forward denied Leicester on several more occasions in the remaining 40 minutes, and won the Football League Goalkeeper of The Weekend for his efforts. Hull’s loss was very much Oldham’s gain.
The seemingly immortal journeyman is still at it. Now 45, Windass plys his trade for Walkington F.C in the Premier Division of the East Riding League. To break it down, this is a division which sits seven rungs below League Two in the football league system
3. John O’Shea
Fact 1: John O’Shea is the most serviceable man in the Premier League.
Fact 2: In his spare time, O’Shea is a headhunter, gardener, fireman, plumber, electrician and train driver.
Some even say he did the ice bucket challenge while riding to training on his bike, simultaneously brushing his teeth and playing the accordion.
The above compilation of his large array of goalkeeping skills shows exactly why the jaunty Irishman made almost 400 appearances for Fergie’s Manchester United. He has got it all.
O’Shea spent the last few minutes of this game against Tottenham guarding the onion bag after Edwin Van Der Sar suffered a broken nose and United had used up all 3 substitutions. His display earned him the nickname ‘The Cat’ among his teammates.
4. Rio Ferdinand
This footage demonstrates why O’Shea went in goal instead of Ferdinand in the Tottenham match.
O’Shea was one of two unused substitutes on the United bench in this FA Cup Sixth-round tie against Portsmouth when Tomasz Kuszczak upended Milan Baros and ref Martin Atkinson had no choice but to brandish a red card.
With all due respect to Ferdinand and his goalkeeping capabilities, O’Shea would have saved Muntari’s penalty with his eyes closed while solving a Rubix Cube.
Pompey won the game 1-0, and went on to win the FA Cup for only the second time in their history.
As Ferdinand used to say to his World Cup Wind-up victims, he got merked.
5. Niall Quinn
A likeable pundit, and someone who seems like a good all-round bloke, Quinn was also a useful striker back in the day.
He will always be remembered for this astonishing performance in Manchester City’s match against Derby County in 1991.
Quinn struck the opener early on in the game, and then had to deputize in goal for Tony Coton, who was sent off for a foul on Derby’s Dean Saunders. At this time, managers rarely named goalkeepers on the bench, so there was not much other choice.
Quinn made a brilliant save to deny Saunders from the subsequent penalty. He didn’t keep a clean sheet, as Derby scored last-minute goal that was worth scant consolation – the 2-1 loss meaning they were relegated from Division One (the name for England’s top division at this time).
Just imagine how many points you would have bagged if you had Quinn in your Fantasy Football team that week…
Football, manager, marmite. Enter these three words together in a Google search, and you’re likely to come across entries of someone who endures a very up-and-down relationship with their Football Manager computer game – and also discover endless information about Crystal Palace’s new manager – Neil Warnock.
Controversial, outspoken, and brutally honest, the over-excited Yorkshireman has gained thousands of admirers and critics during his time as a manager in England.
I look at some of the most amusing quotes to come from a man who is, quite simply, absolutely berserk.
1. Warnock on El-Hadji Diouf
“For many years I have thought he was the gutter type – I was going to call him a sewer rat, but that might be insulting to sewer rats. He’s the lowest of the low and I can’t see him being at Blackburn much longer.’
Wow. Warnock launched this disparaging tirade at Diouf after the Senegalese forward supposedly mocked Jamie Mackie while the latter lay on the floor with a broken leg in an FA Cup match in January 2011.
Strong stuff indeed. Warnock’s prediction wasn’t too inaccurate, as bad boy Diouf left Blackburn Rovers a mere 235 days following the incident.
After winning the SPL with Rangers in Scotland and enjoying a brief spell at Doncaster Rovers, Diouf joined Leeds United in August 2012. The Whites manager at the time? Yep, you guessed it – Neil Warnock. Turns out rodents aren’t as easy to keep away as you’d imagine.
Serial spitter Diouf has the unenviable accolade of being the most expensive rat in the history of football. The £10million fee that Liverpool forked out to sign him after the 2002 World Cup easily eclipses the £880,000 deal that saw ex-West Ham left-back Razvan Rat move from Rapid Bucharest to Shaktar Donetsk in 2003.
2 & 3. Warnock on his humble self
“It bugs me when I see other managers getting top jobs and I know they’re not as good as me.”
Warnock said this in reference to never having the opportunity to have managed a top side.
The closest he came was in 1991. A 43-year-old Warnock was doing a fine job at Notts County – having led the Nottinghamshire side to successive promotions, from Division Three (the old League One) up to Division One, English football’s top tier.
Ken Bates, Chelsea’s chairman at the time, offered him the vacant manager position. ‘Thanks, but no thanks’, was Warnock’s reply. His reason for turning down the Blues?
“I was a northern lad and I thought going beyond Watford was the end of the world in those days”
Two years later, he was given the boot after Notts County were relegated and failed to gain promotion back to what had now been revamped as the Premiership.
Warnock’s next port of call was a place well beyond the end of the world – he became manager of Torquay United.
Just four years later, Chelsea were crowned Premier League champions, while Warnock was surprisingly sacked by second-tier Plymouth Argyle following two years in charge of the South Coast club. Oh, what might have been…
4. Warnock on Stephen Hunt
“Hunt has proven on a few occasions that he’s a clever type, and his challenge on Nick Montgomery earlier in the game wasn’t clever either.”
So is Hunt clever, or isn’t he? What’re you trying to tell us here, Neil?
Warnock provided us with this complex conundrum after a particularly hot-tempered Premier League affair between his Sheffield United side and Steve Coppell’s Reading in January 2007.
Carol Vorderman, he is not.
5. Warnock on Richard Beeby
“They go back to their jobs, referees, and give no thought about professionals like us having to work as hard as what we’ve done tonight. ‘So what it’s only a penalty, it’s only a goal, it’s only an extra minute, I’m enjoying myself’. Dear me, it’s disgraceful.”
This rant came after Beeby had played more additional time than initially indicated at the end of a match between Palace and Bristol City at Ashton Gate in February 2008.
25 seconds after Warnock thought the referee should have blown the full-time whistle, Bristol City scored. He even claimed that Beeby had celebrated City’s equalizer.
The maverick manager admitted a charge from the FA; his comments being classified as ‘improper conduct’.
Following a personal hearing, Warnock was fined £2,000.
With the return of La Liga this weekend, I look at the season ahead for two of last season’s top three, who both begin their league campaigns tonight – Atletico Madrid and Real Madrid.
Atletico Madrid
Ganar, ganar, y volver a ganar – win, win and win again. This was former Atletico manager Luis Aragones’ most-used phrase during his time as the club’s boss. And this is exactly what Los Rojiblancos did last season. Beating every team that they came up against at least once, Simeone’s men ended Real Madrid and Barcelona’s hegemony of Spanish football as they won their first league title in eighteen years. Losing out to their cross-city rivals Real in the Champions League final must have been a bitter pill to swallow, but in reaching the showpiece event in Lisbon, Atletico showed they have the firepower and resilience to battle it out with Europe’s elite.
Three of the team’s most outstanding performers last campaign – Thibaut Courtois, Filipe Luis and Diego Costa – have departed to join Chelsea, a team they sent crashing out of the Champions League in April. Diego Simeone has acted astutely to replace the trio. Slovenian stopper Jan Oblak, Europa league runner- up with Benfica last season, and Ex-Getafe goalkeeper Moya will provide healthy competition between the sticks. £8m left-back Guilherme Siquiera joins from Granada. He has proven himself a reliable defensive outlet after being inhibited by disciplinary problems earlier on in his career.
The signing of colossal Croatian centre-forward Mario Mandzukic demonstrates that Atletico are now able to compete with the top teams in the transfer market. Mandzukic was heavily linked with Real Madrid, as well as Arsenal and Chelsea, and is a more than adequate replacement for street fighter Diego Costa. A hustling, bustling sort of player, his incredible work-rate and admirable defensive contribution means the £18m acquisition from Bayern Munich will slot perfectly into Simeone’s first-team plans. The Croat exhibited his predatory instincts in the second leg of the Spanish Super Cup on Tuesday, firing in the only goal of the game after just eighty-one seconds – Atletico winning the Cup 2-1 on aggregate. Two games played, one trophy secured already. Diego who?
Spain’s all-time top goalscorer David Villa could have easily lasted one more season in a top European league, but decided to join exciting new MLS franchise New York City. He has lost some pace but remains a brilliant footballer, and his thirteen La Liga goals for Atletico last season were vital in their quest for the title. To compensate for this loss, the fresh-faced Frenchman Antoine Griezmann has been brought in. The 23-year old’s pace and guile provides Atletico with an alternative attacking option. Tricky and difficult to dispossess, he will aim to enhance his reputation by proving himself in the Champions League for Los Colchoneros.
Argentinian defender Cristian Ansaldi arrives on loan from Zenit Saint Petersburg and provides excellent cover in both full back positions. Another handy addition to the squad is six foot three Mexican forward Raul Jimenez. He predominantly plays as a second striker and is a general nuisance for defenders to deal with. Jimenez will be hoping to build up a good understanding with Gabi and Koke – the Spanish duo are one of Europe’s most enviable centre midfield partnerships. If the linchpins of Simeone’s side stay fit for most of the upcoming campaign, expect Madrid’s ‘second team’ to challenge on all fronts again.
Real Madrid
La Decima. The two words that had been on every Madridista’s lips for over a decade took on added significance after Los Blancos blew away Bayern Munich in their own back yard in April. The longing for their tenth European Cup had become an obsession. They simply had to win in Lisbon. Seconds away from the nightmare of conceding the prize to their eternal rivals Atletico, Sergio Ramos conjured up a last-minute equalizer and Real went on to triumph in extra time. Manager Carlo Ancelotti claims that the team will now play with less pressure after their historic victory. Naturally, this means expectant fans are already dreaming about winning LaUndecima – the eleventh European Cup. Can Real Madrid become the first team to win the Champions League in consecutive seasons?
The return of the Galacticos policy means that as well as selling millions of shirts, Real also scored quite a few goals last season. The famed trident labelled as the ‘BBC’ – Benzema, Bale and Cristiano – plundered ninety-seven strikes between them in all competitions last campaign. But there is still room for improvement. Real choked during the business end of the league, as they won just one of their last four games. Furthermore, they hardly set the world alight during their Spanish Supercup meetings with Atletico last week. Despite enjoying highly impressive seasons last time out, Benzema and Bale will need to contribute even more in the way of goals and assists this campaign, in order to ease the burden on superstar Ronaldo.
Keeping the ‘BBC’ and James Rodriguez happy is going to be difficult. Will using the Colombian as a number ten behind the aforementioned attacking trio make Los Merengues too top-heavy? Is it sensible to replace Angel Di Maria, one of the team’s best performers last season, with a £63m man who is lacking in Champions League experience and far from the finished product? James and his giant fee appear to pose more questions than answers.
However, it is hard to argue against another one of the players that the club snapped up after a sensational showing at the World Cup – Toni Kroos – being the bargain buy of the summer. A vital cog in Germany’s slick machine in Brazil, the £20m midfielder possesses unrelenting stamina and formidable passing ability. Real struggled against teams which suffocated their midfield and played a high pressing game last season, and Kroos’ intelligence on the ball will allow them to dictate the tempo against such sides to a better degree.
The goalkeeping debate at the club rages on. Ancelotti’s first choice keeper in the league last season, Diego Lopez, completed a transfer to AC Milan just under two weeks ago. In 2013 Lopez was brought in as a short-term replacement for Iker Casillas, who had suffered a serious injury. Even once Casillas had returned to full fitness, Lopez retained the number one spot. Cue a hoo-hah amongst media and fans, who felt that the manager at the time, Jose Mourinho, had committed injustice by benching one of the greatest goalkeepers in the history of the club – not to mention a loyal servant who joined Real Madrid at the age of nine.
Mourinho was replaced by Ancelotti at the start of last season, but Casillas was only used in the Copa del Rey and the Champions League. As if things couldn’t get any worse for ‘Saint Ike’r (as he is known amongst the Bernabeu faithful) he hit the nadir of his illustrious career during this summer’s World Cup. Standing disconsolate after Spain’s early elimination from the tournament against Chile, the 33-year old looked like a drowned rat. He was at fault for at least three of the seven goals that his nation conceded in their first two group games. In contrast, Keylor Navas, who was recently snapped up by Real from Levante for £10 million, was possibly the most impressive custodian of the World Cup. His Costa Rica team exceeded all expectations by topping the ‘group of death’ and going on to reach the quarter finals – Navas keeping three clean sheets and winning three Man of the Match Awards along the way. Nevertheless, Ancelotti preferred Casillas over Navas in the European Super Cup and the Spanish Super Cup games in the last fortnight. Some have suggested the Italian manager is finally caving in to pressure from the media and those inside the club to re-instate the Spaniard as Real’s first choice. Whatever the case, the competition for Los Blancos’ number one spot is bound to create a fascinating sub-plot as the soap opera that is Galacticos part II enters its sixth season.
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The Sixth Metatarsal 